Do you ever feel you were meant to be alone in this life? Have you found yourself with another person, you and your spouse, you and four others, you and your family, you and your classmates, you and a crowd, you and your co-workers, you and your church, you and your team, you and no matter how many are around you – you are still alone? Did you try from middle school, to high school, to college, in the work world, in the church world, in the sports world, join clubs to make friends or at least come away with one friend? Have you stood there talking to others or hearing others talk and the emptiness of being alone is still present? Have you gone through the trial and errors of testing with more talking, less talking, more smiling, less smiling, showing more friendliness, being what you think others want you to be, purchasing things to appear as one of them, change your hair, change your clothes, change the way you laugh, change the words you speak, making yourself more available, adapting in any way you think it is possible, and doing anything within your power to be accepted and come away with at least one friend?
Even God desired to have someone. Before He created man God had no one like Himself. The angels and other creations were not like God. When God created man He created man (Adam) after His likeness and His image. God only had Adam that was close to his likeness. God had no one else to fellowship in the likeness of His own Spirit, except Adam. Then Adam in turn did not have anyone like him to fellowship matching his spirit. God was far above Adam’s spiritual level. Adam had no one that was like him. God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Ge. 2:18). God brought all the animals to Adam to see what he would name them. At the end of naming the animals Adam and God saw no suitable helper was found among them (Ge. 2:20). God created a woman from Adam’s rib that would match him in the attempt to fix the being alone.
This was easy for Adam to find that someone to take away the loneliness. We today have almost a near impossible job to find someone to walk on their own carrying themselves with mannerisms like a kindred spirit matching ours to fill the loneliness with their fellowship in a oneness with us. People today call that a “soul mate”. Growing up in this day and time you may find yourself chasing the neighborhood kids wanting to play with them having them to run away. At school today you may hope someone in the classroom, gym class, clubs, and sports would accept you. You enter into high school meeting all kinds of users/players using anyone and everyone for their personal desires. In desiring to have that loneliness taken away you even tolerate the users in school. College or the work force you find even greater actors than Hollywood acting out parts for selfish ambitions and you are nothing but a stepping stone to them. It seems you are always on the outside looking in and even if you are on the inside you still feel the outside lonely feeling.
You go on with your life choosing to chase a career. In the chase you may even find someone else who has a secretive need unknown to you to have someone. You may even marry them and have a relationship with that person for decades going through the stages of having children, paying debts, and providing for the daily needs and still can be alone. Your spouse can be on a totally different page than you and you are on the farthest page from them. You may even find yourself being more of a caretaker than the true definition of oneness marriage. You can outwardly appear to be in the marriage doing all the things expected, but inwardly you can be starving to death for fellowship matching your spirit.
There are two kinds of loneliness. There is a physical loneliness and a spiritual loneliness. The physical loneliness does not necessarily only mean the absence of intimacy, but it can also include no physical fellowship (seeing a face showing reactions, hands…). The spiritual loneliness can be the absence of someone who can perceive and understand where your words are coming from and have the ability to challenge or add to your thoughts. Fellowship matching your spirit is where the loneliness will always be until you find another kindred spirit. Physical gratification can go a long way, but the truth of reality you are still lonely inside. Only the addiction of your body has been temporarily answered. All fleshly bodies change over time breaking down no matter how hard you fight the aging process, but the long-lasting effect comes from their spirit to yours. The physical body has the advantage of finding tons of other bodies starving for like manner loneliness, but the spiritual side has a harder task before it in finding matching spirits. Removing the curse of loneliness totally is having both physical and spiritual oneness.
God made Adam fall asleep and took a bone from his ribs. God took Adam’s rib bone and created another person in Adam’s likeness and image with matching parts for a oneness relationship. This was before sin and lust was in the eyes of mankind (Ge.2:25). Adam looked at her with the same naming eye sight he had for all the animals and spoke her place by his side and among all creation. He said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” (Ge. 2:23). Adam had the first ministry of being God’s first-born and Eve had the ministry of the first-born from Adam. This event of woman for man became the reason and explanation of why a man leaves his father and mother to be united with his wife as one flesh (Ge. 2:24). This was locked in at the beginning of creation. It was God, Adam, and Eve oneness of fellowship. God had the oneness spirit fellowship with them both. Adam and Eve had the spiritual and physical oneness fellowship with each other and God. Loneliness came into being after mankind sinned against God creating a world of separation of all types.
In our present day the separation in its various forms has caused people to be players, users, and deceiving facades (outward appearances). Today is different finding that person, that friend, or friends in general. There is so much deception out there. It is extremely difficult to filter and find the ones you feel safe to open up and fellowship. The world is full of liars (tares) among the true (wheat) playing the acting game for all kinds of reasons. The sifting through them is a task that takes great powers of patience, intelligence, and God-given discernment.
The childhood, young adult, and adulthood in this day of con artists, liars, deceivers, and the fake facades may have driven you to hatred, distrust, and thick walls to all people, but there is a solution to the “Meant to be Alone” curse. As a child I had a father and a mother, an older sister, and an older brother. I count them to be a blessing because of the people I have met in life that had it far worse than I did, but the curse of “Meant to be Alone” was upon them as it was me. It was no fault of my family whatsoever for the “Meant to be Alone” curse on my life. I did not know we were poor. My father and mother worked really hard to make my life as rich as they could, but the true richness was their characteristics they lived before me. My father worked three jobs for our family that I was told later. I did not know why he was gone so much. My older sister is about twelve years older than me and had her life to live. My brother is about nine years older than me and he had his life to live. My childhood was basically a few years of full family memories changing quickly to an only child. The “Meant to be Alone” curse is not based on if you had a family or your financial status in life. It is based upon finding that friend, spouse, or partner that truly connects with you from childhood to adulthood.
You may have the thick walls up guarding your heart, mind, and soul. I had my thick walls up guarding my heart, mind, and soul. The thing about having all these defensive devices in place you find yourself looking around inside hearing, feeling the empty halls of your heart, and the silence of your thoughts only. I did everything I could growing up to link with a best friend doing things I should not have done to gain their acceptance. I became bitter, cold, hateful, vengeful, and a user/player with darkness as my friend, but this is not the friend I sought after. It was the friend that came to me after the con artists, liars, deceivers; the outward facades had destroyed my faith in mankind.
Darkness could not satisfy that loneliness. After serving revenge on others with the lies, deceptions, and outward facades I did not find any satisfaction to chase away the loneliness. The hard questions began to seep through my thick walls like black thick syrup of ‘why should I exist‘ and ‘for what purpose or reason?’ It was during this crucial time sitting in furthest seat in the highest balcony in the dim-lit back pew a voice dropped over into my walls and into my throne room of heart, mind, and soul saying, “you had tried everything else why not try me?” I started going over a variety of things I had tried and coming to the conclusion I agreed that I will give you a try.
The “Meant to be Alone” curse can be taken away. I started my infant steps with God. I treated Him as I would anyone else. I will try to get to know Him. I started reading His Word/Bible from the point of view of questions I had about life. I started looking up hatred, jealousy, bitterness, dating, marriage, friendship, loneliness, anger, and the list goes on. I have uploaded pictures that I drew before trying God and after trying God. The pictures have hidden messages of emotions I was facing at the time. As I kept talking with Him and reading His opinions I woke up one day realizing I had found the friend that will never leave me. He will never back stab me, lie to me, use me, con me, or forsake me. He became my best friend and roommate behind my thick walls. I will never be alone again spiritually. Yes, I still have my walls up because mankind has not changed, but my fleshly house has a new occupant that will always lead me and guide me into all truth.
Adam was alone inside having only his living soul. Eve was alone inside having only her living soul. They had each other physically and spiritual fellowship. We are not like Adam today. We have our living soul inside, but God can move inside with us. Your body now can be the apartment with God as your roommate. It doesn’t matter if you are physically alone even in a crowd, marriage, church, school, or anything else you may think of people being there with you because spiritually you have the roommate of forever kindness, love, acceptance, friendship, saving grace. My life has never been the same since Jesus became my roommate.
All I had to do was to turn my back ( be sorry) on darkness/sin, get baptized in water baptism in the name of Jesus (applies the blood of Calvary) for the washing away of my sins (cleaning my house & spirit), and receiving His Holy Spirit inside with mine (Acts 2:38, 4). I may never have the fellowship of mankind, but I will always have the fellowship of God from this life into the next. It is joy unspeakable and full of glory beyond the brightness of our sun in space. Seek after Him and you will never be sorry or lonely ever again.